How if...

How can I let yourself forgive
the absences of my love words?
May I how your wet cracks
Into eyes form back?

I’ve offered you the words of a man
Who has always been silent
But also those deep silences
that in words can only do harm.

How could my mirror stand
Without me, lovingly,
Holding you from the back in it?
Those silences like absences
seen from outside.

No absence in my silence
Just a pause in the road
I only want to walk with you.

That silence i got you in
Meaning only a kind of
‘How if not’:

how if not I loving you were?
How if not your floating laugh
Would make myself crawl into joy?

How if eyes would grow back again
Into those holes?